im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize