Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
