the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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