I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
