I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
