why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
