how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
