bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
