Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
