Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
