and you said cock pushups were impossible
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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