literally had 100 drinks last night.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
dude i'm inner monologue high
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
