Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
