Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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