ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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