He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
