She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
