Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
