I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
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