i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
