I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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