Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
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