p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize