I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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