Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
She even gives head with a lisp.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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