Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
