32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
