They should really pass out barf bags in church
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
