i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
