Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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