I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
