sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
