ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
