OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Randomize