dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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