Christians are straight up FREAKS
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I AM VODKA MAN
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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