just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
