I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
