Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
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