Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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