Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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