I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
