it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
