Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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