It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
