dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
