and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
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