When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
