don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize