her vagine was all disorganized.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
