so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
