this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
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They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
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Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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