My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
There's even glitter on my cock...
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