I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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