she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize