there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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