Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
