I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
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