im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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