Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
